Hey — hey you! Yeah, you — in your tighty-whiteys holding your Blackberry, about to snag a pic of your Great Googly Moogly. Don’t do it! For the love of all things holy, please do not take a photo of your man parts.
I’m not too sure what is in the water nowadays, but it seems that every man has gone coo coo for Coco Puffs. Penises, to be frank (no pun intended) are not attractive parts of the human body. I know you men have been fascinated with “it” for as long as you can remember — heck, it was even cooler than a new box of LEGOs — but if we haven’t uttered a single vow to you, we don’t want to see what you’re packing. Period.
And for Pete’s sake, if you do insist on taking a picture and sending it to a woman half your age, do NOT deny. We will find out, you will be embarrassed, your wife will kick you in the face, and you’ll cry on national television. It is painful for everyone involved.
Finally — if your name carries a funny meaning, then you are at an exceptionally high risk. All of you Weiners, Boehners, Woodcoxes, and Dicks, PLEASE refrain from snapping a pic. It will only make me want to spoon my eyes out.
Thanks in advance.